actually not finished with this post.. will explain more shortly

from my post on redriverclimbing.com

look, i recognize i have a limited perspective on the subject but i do believe that i’m a pretty patient person. still, this evening hits an annual low for me on the patience level.. so i’m going to go ahead and break character for a second and vent. wish sunshine were here to throw a comment or two in..i’m sick of dumb people and victims. they’re two groups that need to either get their acts together or leave.

dumb people: you know who i’m talking about. these are the people that blink real hard when you tell them something outside of their little bubbles. they’ll squint real hard when they need to actually think, scrunch their face all together, and rub that their temples. they’re the people that walk into the wall about three times a week, the ones on autopilot, the ones that should know better.. but don’t. they’re the sleep walkers, the zombies, the ones in the clouds, the abandoned shells of people, the echoing halls with cobwebs between their ears.. and you all know how much i hate SCIN repellent. i’m tired of watching them go through life with their little knee-jerk reactions trying to avoid being alive with everything they are. the worst part about it all is that these people are the ones that could be better, could think, could be actual human beings if they were smacked real hard for about an hour and finally snapped out of it. tonight, i just can’t stand it anymore.. it’s not my responsibility to take you by the hand and show you how to live, how to think, how to live without life support systems. wake up! or i’m pulling the plug..

the victims: these people might actually be worse. by victims i’m talking about the people who refuse any sort of personal responsibility or liability for their actions. as richard bach would say, the people argue for their limitations and so make them theirs. it’s someone else’s fault for what they are thinking.. are you serious!? how the hell are you so weak minded that you actually believe that it’s my fault for making you feel a certain way? do you have so little personal integrity that you let any external event define who you are? and if so, what does that make you?! nothing.. look, you are yourself and you are the only one who can make you feel anything at all. it’s your choice, your responsibility. and, again, i’m not going to cater to you just to be a stop-gap for deeper issues that you refuse to face. and, when i don’t cater to that, don’t blame me for it. all i’m asking from you is to acknowledge that your mind is your own and to recognize the power of that enlightening statement.

and i’m by no means going to get started on the people that make judgments about me without knowing me for more than a total of twenty minutes. that’s for next year’s low-patience moment..

and it’s not that i hate these people.. more often than not, they’re actually good, decent people. but “god save us always from the innocent and the good,” as graham greene noted. it’s just that, tonight, i’m extremely exhausted and don’t really care to deal with it anymore. instead, i’d rather just buy them a couple books and lock them in a room for a couple weeks. it’d be less trying for me anyway..

and no, i don’t kid myself: i end up being exactly these kinds of people from time to time.. but that doesn’t mean i don’t lose patience with myself for it. at some point [corrected], i recognize what’s going on and snap out of it. and that’s all i’m asking of these other people..

..ok.. i feel a little better.. thought that’s actually because of the beer. back in character..

anyway, sorry about that.

from an email..

I so want to kick your ass right now. I think your such a fag.