Category Archives: happenings

the roaring 20’s

hobbit town at nightso i’m currently in santa cruz, california with my mom visiting my aunt and two cousins, j1 and j2. i have to say: if i were to move out west, this place would be tops for me. now, that could be just because of those three people.. but damn if this isn’t an awesome area. there’s always been something about redwoods that just feel like home. the smell, the protection of their canopies, the nettle mats that surround them.. my whole being slows down whenever i’m near them. yes, i know that makes me sound very.. earthy.. but it’s true. i just feel like i’m supposed to grab a book or journal and go sit under them while a silent snow gathers on its branches. i can work a lot out in that space..

j1 and j2 are two of the best.. i mean it, really, they’re two of my favorite people around πŸ˜‰ j1 is about done with high school and will soon be headed off to college – a crazy thought considering it really does feel like just a couple weeks ago that she was j2bouncing around and tugging on my shirt to tell me about heading to the boardwalk. now she’s a pretty accomplished dressage rider (i’ll have to ask her if that’s what she’s called) and is a heck of a softball player, too. she’s avoided the lens thus far, though, so we’ll have to pin her down later. j2 is going to be in high school next year and can text faster than i can type. she’s a softballer, too, but she’s also into volleyball. just need to start making climbers out of the two of β€˜em. kinda hard, though, when i only get the rare snapshot of their lives. maybe they’ll teach me to text like they do.

the place we’re staying is a little hobbit town called babbling brook. it’s kind of funny in that it really does seem like it’s straight out of a children’s story but it’s fun. there are even a few redwoods on the grounds, the kind it would take you and three of your best friends holding hands and stretching out to try to hug the trunk.

at night, they put out cheese and crackers, wine, and a few other treats. last night we went downstairs to relax before heading over to aunt d’s for dinner. on the radio was what had to be some of the best 1920 music, real 20’s jazz like bessie smith with the crackled sounds of an old vinyl (though i’m sure they were cds). and let me tell you: something about music, the warmth, and my j2 and momexhaustion made the whole scene perfect.. just one of those warm, anonymous places in the world where you can get lost and pretend, if only for a little bit, that everything is going to be just fine, that you’ll always be warm, and that you can go to sleep every night with someone in your arms.

so in walks amanda and the 1920’s picture was complete. she had pin curls (or are they finger curls.. or is it a bob cut..?) and i swear she walked around in black and white. thin smile and all, i suddenly felt like i was in a smoky speakeasy with jazz and muted trumpets playing distantly. the one other couple there even asked her if she was french, to which she replied quickly and unambiguously, “no”. she was the server/hostess/cook/receptionist for the evening and (wo)manned the desk, kitchen, and dining room all at once. being the wallflower that i am, all i could really do was smile dumbly and eat my cheese.. and so i did until we left for aunt d’s.

my dash 7..

today i found out that, as of january 1, i’ll no longer be a fmsm employee.

fear not: i didn’t lose my job.. fmsm was just bought out– or wait, merged– err.. i don’t know. anyway, we’ll be stantec employees (or more on cnn)as of the new year. new year, new names.

my dash 7from wilco’s dash 7 –

Because I’ve found the way those engines sound,
Will make you kiss the ground
I found the way those engines sound,
Will make you kiss the ground,
When you touch down

it’s funny.. i’ve known something was up for some time now. the closed doors around the office are always a dead giveaway. this time, though, it went on for longer than usual and no one was letting up. usually you can get a hint here or there from someone.. but this time lips were sealed and direct questions were directly avoided. as speculation increased, so did stress levels. i figured, though, that having the news would ease concerns and lower the blood pressure. sadly, not so..

now that this bird has landed and i’m kissing the ground, i’m finding that i’m just as anxious as before.. maybe even more so. about what.. i’m not exactly sure. i doubt there will really be any major changes, at least initially. i guess i’m mostly just stressed now because i see the people around me are worked up about their futures and the uncertainty of tomorrow. personally, i’m in a decent position: no debts or dependents, no home to payoff or family to support.. but my co-workers have a lot more riding on this, family, kids, homes, careers, retirement.. dogs πŸ˜‰ .. and there’s no doubt that the uncertainty is disorienting at best.

it was a strange scene: the entire office gathered in a room that’s still under construction and the office manager made the main announcements while the president followed up with his thoughts and feelings and a few of the details and reasons why. i didn’t really watch them, though, and instead watched the faces around the room. i don’t think people really grasped what was going on for the first thirty minutes, their faces locked into as straight a face as they could manage. it wasn’t until later that the anxiety would well up and, if it weren’t for their determination to remain as solid state as possible, would wash their illusions of the future out of their eyes.

hysteriawhat if anxiety acts as its own self-sustaining emotion? i see the anxious faces and hear the anxious speculation around me and it, in turn, makes me anxious. and i can hear it in their voices when they talk together.. one person starts speculating and the edge in their voice gets sharper.. and the people listening get edgier themselves.. and like a flood behind their eyes, you can watch their anxiety rise and they’ll pass it on to the next group they talk to. soon enough the epidemic grips the entire office.

i’m not here to say let’s turn that frown upside-down and everything will be just honky-dory.. i just have to wonder aloud if we can’t calm ourselves down in a group scenario like this. you can almost watch the hysteria spread from one group to the next, faster than news of cookies in the break room.

another part of this that nags at me a bit is that i feel so very small in this process. i have nothing to say about what happens, have little control over my eventual situation, and, now being one of over seven thousand stantec employees, well, i feel that my voice could be lost in a hall of echoes. the obvious analogy that gets drawn is one of pawns in a big chess game, small, largely expendable, and easily forgotten.

now, none of that is to say that i believe in that.. i think there’s a difference between feeling one way and honestly believing in that feeling. i do think this change will open up a lot of opportunities and that good things will come of this all. and more than all that, i know that these are only circumstances.. and one can never be a victim of circumstance without also being a willing participant: i’ll always have choice and so long as i have choice, i have the choice of being alright with this, with seeing the positives.. or, if i see too many things that i’m decidedly unhappy with, then i’ll always have the choice of walking out that open door.. i have that infinite freedom (β€œman is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” and “freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.” –jean-paul sartre).. then again, if they play the game right and for long enough, even pawns can become royalty.

..i know this is hardly a linear post. and it’s mostly a smattering of incomplete thought.. but that’s all i can offer for now.

time may tell all.

friendly paths

now entering the bert t combs mountain parkwayperhaps the best way to preface a synopsis of last week would be to quote herman hesse in demian.

One never reaches home, but wherever friendly paths intersect the whole world looks like home for a time.

somehow, years after we’d all graduated, we traveled more than 2,200 miles to meet in the middle of kentucky. and somehow it felt like home.. for a time.

(for a slideshow or to download the pictures, go here)

thursday: i picked kathrine up outside morehead in the morning. by morning, i mean 3am. we drove for an hour and made plans to get an early start on the day. four hours later we were up and off to cracker barrel to down eggs and toast. given that it was snowing when we woke, we weren’t too anxious to get the earlier of starts on the day.

despite the fact that the temperature couldn’t have topped the low forties and that we hardly saw the sun all day, we stayed relatively warm. solar collector worked out alright for the first half of the day and we got in two climbs while there: super pinch and green horn. johnny jumped on black gold.. actually he got on it three times with about ten minutes or so in between goes. pretty damn good, especially since he was a move or two away from bagging it on his third run. as a note, we’d have pictures of all this but kathrine’s camera didn’t have a memory card.. who takes the memory card out of the camera and doesn’t put it back?

colder than could be expectedso, with the sun drifting behind the cliff and nothing left that we really wanted to jump on, kathrine and i headed to roadside and jumped on crazyfingers and awol before the end of the day. we walked out in the dark. johnny had run off to get some wine in campton.

when we got to miguel’s, the sun was gone and everyone was settled in for dinner. it’s pretty fair to say that kathrine was psyched about the setup: miguel’s was decked out in candles and pine and everything felt warm and homey. dinner didn’t disappoint either: a full plate of mashed sweet potatoes, turkey breast, cranberry sauce, garlic toast (..i’m forgetting something else) and a slice of either sweet potato pie or apple pie for five bucks. we grabbed our place and went to the basement, stuffed our faces, drank our wine, and generally enjoyed the climbers’ family dinner.

around 9:30pm, we headed off to the cabin and, after some finangling, we got the fireplace going. with three bottles of wine gone between three of us, the warmth of the fire, and the four hours of sleep the night before, i promptly passed out on the floor.

friday: we actually did get up early but again took it slow since the air didn’t break forty until around noon. we hung out at the shell for a while with johnny until we’d avoided the weather for long enough and headed to phantasia and he headed home to oxford. that it was snowing was not lost on us.

before we even touched the rock we started with the hand warmers. they would help some but, in the end, the rock was just too cold in the shade and numbness took hold by the afternoon. by then, though, we’d already done creature feature, creep show, count floyd show, and pogue ethics, the last by far being the coldest.

bert t combsbeing as hardcore as we are, though, we thumbed our noses to the 4:30pm sun and headed to eastern sky bridge ridge to get on super dario. on the way to the trailhead, the two guys who were leaving looked at us quizickly and asked, “you headed up?”

“of course! it’s not over yet,” i said. later we’d both confess that, at the point, we were both seriously considering turning around and jumping back in the warm car and melting back into the heated seats. we didn’t, though, and super dario, as always, was more than worth it.. despite the snow that started up again πŸ˜‰

we grabbed a pizza from miguel’s, stuffed our faces again, and topped it off with some more pie. yasi was there, too, and we sat around slightly comatose before we hobbled out to johnny’s place. when we got there, we couldn’t help but be creeped out: here was a white house in the middle of nowhere with no heat or running water, half finished carpentry, freshly painted walls, and the lingered stench and mess of alcohol and climbing bums. before we could really settle in, though, we wanted to check out the climbers’ hostel and try to get the story on this place. we walked down the hill to true north and talked a bit with dana. as pleasant as that was, we were fading fast so the three of us, kathrine, yasi, and myself, packed into johnny’s room to try to trap as much heat as we could.

kathrine on whip stockingsaturday: we were all excited for what was supposed to be the warmest day yet. as the rest of the week had worked out, though, we were in for disappointment. clouds kept the sun away almost all day, so the normally warm drive-by crag was chilly at best so we busted out two sets of hand-warmers. before we headed off to a new crag, we’d finished up whip stocking, make a wish, and breakfast burrito.

johnny on kaleidescopewhitney showed up later and john did, too, but without any gear since it was locked away in my car. if you look closely at some of the pictures, you’ll see he’s wearing my shoes and harness, marked by the unpredictable and almost unmanageable “hippie” chalkbag. those two jumped on kaleidescope while we watched and froze slightly.

we head to sore heel from there and i finally got to put kathrine on something a little more technical. unfortunately, there was a good reason for having avoided it the other days: her ankle was still recovering from pretty serious strain. in fact, it was eight weeks later and i could still see the swelling. each day it seemed to get harder and harder for her and, by the end of kentucky flu, she was ready to call it a trip. the vertical stuff was just a little too much for the ankle to bear. still, though, i was happy she was able to check it out. the other routes will have to wait for next year and a stronger ankle.

by now it was nightfall and we rounded up the troops to head to tomo for sushi and mellow mushroom for a pitcher. with kathrine’s ride heading out at 7am, we had to wrap it up a little early and we all crashed out pretty hard.

sunday: not much to be said, really, other than kathrine and i got a good chance to talk for a while until her ride showed up at 8am. yasi took off for home, scared away by the cold, and whitney and i debated climbing or not until about noon when we headed back to drive-by where it was surprisingly warm. i don’t think kathrine got home until 10pm or so.. another 14 hours in the car. i’m not jealous πŸ˜‰

there are gaps.. mostly because i have a terrible memory.. so please fill them as best you can. to all, it was great and much needed. plan on next year, same time, same place, same home.