so to about twenty people in the world, i’m better known as “the mariner”. the story on how i acquired such a title is longer than i have the sobriety to explain tonight.. but i’ll give you the overview 😉

ok, so we’re in new zealand on an educational trip. actually, we earned credits for “educational leadership” or some jazz like that. to get credits for leadership, though, you of course had to be.. a leader. so they broke down leadership opportunities and divided it among everyone for different outdoor adventure days. i was sharing leadership with jenny on the first day of the sea kayaking.

now, at the time, i was extremely introverted and wasn’t the kind of guy to rock the boat (pun intended). jenny was even more so, though she was quite eccentric: going through customs back to the us of a, she actually checked her possum fur nipple warmers. anyway, the point you need to get is that she and i, as leaders, were nothing short of a total joke. from the start, i stood out: my idea of boots were a pair of adidas shoes that didn’t come close to my ankles and that i could literally bend in half, toe to heel. the trip leaders were convinced for days that i was joking about them being my hiking boots. then, i bought the only polypropylene shirt i owned minutes before we cast off (they used to make a big deal about these for outdoor activities). now, it was in the style of new zealanders.. but it was also in the style of looking completely ridiculous. this was the second sign of the mariner within. (note: the photo to the right was at the end of the trip after a few speights and after months without a haircut)

anyway, the plan was we’d lead the first day of a three day sea kayaking trip. so we looked at our maps, charted our course, and set sail. soon, though, it was obvious we were going to have issues: we were too focused on making sure everyone was happy. inevitably, the old cliché kicked in: please all, please none. holding off for everyone’s vote, we ended up never coming to a consensus and never making any real decisions and a non-violent mutiny ensued..

there after followed several poor decisions: inability to decipher which bays were which, lack of enough leadership on our parts to make choices when the need be, mis-communication that broke the group into two very separate groups, and the growing sense of panic that set in as the sun set and there was still no sight of our hut.

in the end, we ended up padding for more than 10 hours and more than 35km, about three times our original plan. we fit the entire three day trip into a one-day float from hell.. ok, maybe not quite that bad, but it was pretty intense and things got pretty tense when, at the end of the day, we’d lost half our group, a storm was rolling over the horizon, and our daylight was gone. one of the trip leaders that had pulled ahead of us found a hut and was literally minutes away from calling the rescue boats when we appeared on the horizon.

all in all, disaster was averted and the mariner sailed for another day.

Planned Route	The Mariner’s Route

most of the time i was passed out in the back, sitting on a steel beam that probably left me permanently bruised.. but whitesnake was a blast. ten or so of us packed into the beast and we traveled around the country like true americans, struggling up hills, screeching around turns.

from almost the first day it was obvious how anonymous i was: we skated around the mountains on dirt roads with no names and only one destination that wasn’t even on the map. quite a difference from today where everyone knows where i am, when i’m there, and where i need to be next.

that ride set the pace for quite a bit of the rest of the trip. about five of us held on to the front seat for dear life, choking down our nausea and fighting not to loose our lunch. shannon lost it on the side of whitesnake early, no surprise considering her performance the rest of the trip. tori made it to the top of the hill only to lose it after stepping out of whitesnake and onto solid ground.

ride on whitesnake.

after i made the entire sea kayaking portion fubar, we headed to christchurch to meet up with the other group. needless to say, there was plenty of drinking to be had. somehow i managed a bottle of wine and some kaluha.. yes, i was completely useless. we all headed to the loaded hog in downtown. i needed a little help 😉

being the fun loving guy that he is, mark was trying to bribe star, completely trashed herself, with a free drink.. if she kissed me.. no, star didn’t get a free drink. i did, though, manage to break a glass. at that, we headed home. i’m leaving out plenty of details so don’t be surprised if mark could tell you quite a bit more about that night.