missions are stupid, tereza. i have no mission, no one has. and it’s a a terrific relief to realize you’re free, free of all missions.

every since hitting those lines from kundera’s the unbearable lightness of being, i’ve had that thought running through my head. anymore, i feel like i have to aanswer some question to myself of what it is that i’m doing, what purpose am i serving, and what should i be doing if “this” isn’t my mission.

but you can’t live day to day without some sort of mission.. can you? maybe it’s not even up to us to have a mission. after all, don’t we all end up the same in the end? and how much influence can someone have on time? geologic time? sure, you can impact something for a year maybe.. maybe a decade if you’re good.. a few have even had an impact that’s lasted for a few centuries.. but how about 10,000 years, a geological blink of an eye.

obviously, that hits on the big cliche of a question that i’d rather not get into since there really isn’t an answer anyway. but it’s something to think about.. if you have or want a mission, are you pursuing it right now? if not, why.. and what’s getting in the way of that? are you filling up with a hundred other little missions or projects and slowly bargaining away your time.. your life?

again, thoughts of tickets and travels come to mind. and coffee shops. and medicine does, too, just a little.. i’d fight tooth and nail to avoid that, though.