ok.. to put it right out there, i feel pretty damn lost right now. i’ve been in something tailspin for months.. between taking on more and more obligations while, at the same time, feeling like i’m struggling to motivate myself.

i’m excited about what i’m doing.. don’t get me wrong. but i can’t help looking around the corner at what might be coming down the road. is it in gis? is it programming? or maybe it’s something entirely different: back to environmental work, writing, medicine, law..? it’s hard to say. it’s as though i’m in the horse latitudes again – no winds are blowing me towards any harbor. i’ve been throwing my sanity overboard just to keep things moving.

in the meantime, i’ve filled up the rest of my weeks with whatever i can: soccer, climbing, drinking, working, volunteering. and suddenly it’s november.

strange day when you realize that you’re running from something.

is it too late to try to redefine yourself? recently, nothing could sound better than a ten-stop, year-long ticket.

i’m twenty-four, right. should i really be so stuck up in saving, budgeting, planning, and being/feeling responsible? what do i want to be doing right now? am i listening at all to what i want to be doing versus what i should be doing?

i’m getting a little tired of budgeting and stressing about responsibilities that don’t apply for twenty years from now. for now, all i can do is try to be more honest with myself and with others and hope something comes of it.

..like a ticket 😉